plus size

Lakefront Hell, winter runs

Last week I saw an online post from fellow former athlete K. She mentioned she had signed up for the Chicago Endurance Sports Spring ½ marathon training. I couldn’t believe it. How could she possibly sign up for something without me. Where is the love? Where is the camaraderie? I immediately thought, “there is no flipping way I am signing up for that.” Three minutes later I was on the phone with K trying to figure out how much I needed to pay and when it was starting. So I go from a couch potato who hasn’t worked out in months one minute, to a person in training for a ½ marathon the next minute. K mentioned that the training would start on Saturday morning, with a 3 mile run on the lakefront. Reminder folks. It is February.

Showed up Saturday, the windiest day of the year to run on the lakefront. K informs me that the run is 4 miles, not 3. GREAT. The entire thing was pretty much a big flipping joke as I could barely walk into the wind let alone run. But who am I kidding, I really can’t run in the sun with no wind. This is a run/walk program. 3 minutes run to 2 minutes walk. I swear though, that pacer wasn’t checking her Timex enough because I KNOW she had us run for more than 3 minutes at a time. Felt lucky I didn’t slip and fall on my ass, but in the end I still felt like I had.

But wait, there is more to the training. From that Saturday hellish activity I ran again Monday and Wednesday and swam Tuesday and Thursday. My beluga moves in the pool would have impressed Phelps.

Saturday’s 5 mile run nearly killed me.  I seemed to struggle with too many layers, tightening lungs from the cold air, and tired legs all around.  Curious wonders and questions about why our noses run so much in the cold were topics of the day.  But, we did it.  On to another week.  Next Saturday is suppposed to be 6 miles.  Hmmm.  We’ll see.

I want my MAJAMAS!!!

I actually believe that plus size women want to wear stylish clothes. I know this is shocking to the world that the big girls would like to wear something that doesn’t look like a table cloth or oversized  Hanes t-shirt dress. We like to look good and feel good in our clothes. I have seen some cute clothes on the racks of stores that ignore my bigness. It seems to me that it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch (no pun intended) to tailor some for the big girl.

A local designer and chic wear specialist told me last week that we (meaning fat girls) don’t buy the clothes. “I couldn’t give the plus sized stuff away.” she said. I would have loved to have been there when she was passing these items out.

I am telling you and the rest of the world. We are dying for the cute clothes, especially in those fabrics you have over there lady Majama.  Make a Rosarito and a Genevieve in my size!! Give me a Cabo or a Quince!!! Give us a try once again. Throw in some yoga pants, leggings and other stuff and we’ll even wear it!!

Maybe we’ll even help you market it!!!!

I could barely get my fat ass up that hill

So, I know, a couple of weeks have passed since the hilly hundred.  I have to say that honestly, I was in better shape for this last year.  I thought the first hill was going to kill me dead.  I mean it you people out there.  This fat girl was screaming.  But, as the body warmed up and the realization that it is harder to walk up the hills than ride became ever clearer, I walked less and pushed more.  Our group didn’t do the full 100.  We did 50, but we had fun and were beat by the end.  

I was amazed to see all of the different bikes, the different people and sizes, the costumes.  The southern Indiana crowd treated us well.  But, what I am here to tell you is this.  There is a cycling company out there that has bike clothes for full figured, plus size people.  Most of all, I am happy to report that this expo actually had plus size clothes. 

I can’t believe that in the months I have been doing this blog I have forgotten them, but alas, what to do.  So, here is what I know…..Last year I bought a pair of their cycling shorts, I wore them all season and they are still in great condition.  I bought a second pair at an expo this year.  I get the plus size Pro Bike Shorts.  The bonus is that they won’t completely break the bank.  You can see their stuff at their web page www.aerotechdesigns.com

Slow ass tri girl finishes triathlon at a snail’s pace

So, did I tell you that Accenture was this weekend?  Yeah, big race, the golden one for many a triathlete. For me this was supposed to be the year for the Olympic distance, or the “Oly” as some would call it. I, on the other hand, just couldn’t muster the strength, dedication, interest or stamina to really drive it all home. So, I decided to go ahead and do the sprint instead. I can’t tell you how liberating this was. Perhaps a little too liberating, because my fitness level the day of the event left a tad to be desired. However, I was determined to have a great time.

Woke up at the same before the crack of the crack of the butt of dawn and loaded up the ford blue van with 3 of my closest friends. We convoyed downtown to meet the packs and droves of insane people on bikes carrying large backpacks and wearing alien helmets. Transition was fun. I was next to this lady named Sandy who I swear, had more makeup on than I have seen on most models. I even mentioned I trained in less time than it took her to apply her mascara. Regardless, friends were made, laughs had. I had dilemma though. My start time was about 7:15 a.m. and I had to put on the wetsuit. See my previous explanations and adventures of trying on the wetsuit to understand why I may not want to do this in public let alone in a port-o-potty. At around 6:30 though, I had no choice. I put it on and immediately began to dehydrate because of the vast pools of sweat dripping from my face.

Swim start….I am chatting away to anyone who will listen so that I am taken aback when the actual horn goes off. I had no idea it would be that fast. I begin to try to develop some sort of rhythm to no avail because I am being kicked, pulled, yanked and otherwise beaten in the water. I also believe I ran over someone doing backstroke (sorry). Finally though, I am out of the water which is great for me. I search for my shoes which are under the crunch sign and see my girlfriend Kitty who I begin to have a conversation with…right there. We chat for a couple of minutes before I remember that this is a RACE. I proceed to hobble to the bike transition.

No amount of strength or flexibility will get me out of the wetsuit. I am like a turtle on my back, feet raised trying to get the sucker off of my ankles. Finally people stop to ask if I need help. I must have looked like I needed some medical attention. But, I prevail and walk (can I say that again WALK to the bike exit) I take my time getting on the bike and take off. The bike itself was uneventful. I couldn’t really get any speed worth mentioning, but there were some nice looking bikes along the way. Once off the bike I walk….yes, walk to the rack and change shoes, take off helmet, put on hat, do my hair (wait, I have none) Finally, I am off again. I get out on the run course and realize I still have my bike gloves on. Silly me, so I have to carry them with me.

I hated the run, every bit of it. I walked a lot of it and just smiled when I remembered I wasn’t doing the “Oly”!! Toward the end of the race I see a woman in front of me, she is struggling to get through this, but is giving it her all. I follow her for quite some time until we are within a 1/4 mile of the finish line. At that point I see her start to walk. I shout “Don’t you dare start walking now woman…I have followed you this far, you had better pick it up!!” So she starts running again. We sort of laugh together, the crowd starts to cheer us on because I am cheering her on Man oh Man what a RUSH!! We cross the finish line arm in arm in the actual victory pose. Hip Hip Hooray!!!!! All of the sudden a voice comes over the loudspeaker “Ladies, you have not crossed the finish line yet!!!!” We burst out laughing finish the race with a hop and smile.

She told me I made her race, that she wouldn’t have been able to do it without me. Now, I know that isn’t true, but it really was a nice thing to hear.

I had my slowest times ever in this race. I am not going to deny that in the negative area of my brain, that horrible place, I can feel bad about it. But mostly, I had a great time. I laughed and cried when two of my closest friends crossed the “Oly” finish line. I am so proud of them.

And you know what, even if I was the slowest of the slow….I am proud of me too!!

Great Job Terry from Naperville….whoever you are. 

p.s.  If you’d like to see a 30 second video of this finish….let me know….it is priceless.

 UPDATE TO ORIGINAL POST

En route to the lake for a morning swim today, my girls commented about how they couldn’t believe I put on my wetsuit in the port-o- potty.  I apologize for not being clearer.  In no way did I change in the poop chamber.  I  stood on a grassy knoll in front of thousands of people and wiggled and stretched my way into the wetsuit I lovingly call Michelin. 

p.s. we found no parking at the lake so in dedicated athlete fashion, we went to breakfast instead.

Intelligentsia can bite my fat ass

I love coffee.  I love good coffee.  I spend a fair amount of money each morning on coffee.  It is something that has become a part of my routine that I love.  I work downtown Chicago and for years I would go to Starbucks for the morning cup-o-joe.  One day, a new coffee shop opened up and opened my eyes to a different variety of coffee.  They had great staff, they were friendly and they even offered inexpensive refills throughout the day.  They also had a buy 10 get one free card.  What a joyous moment it was when I found them.  Then, things began to change.  They stopped the discounted refills entirely.  The nearly sent me over the edge, but I figured, they needed to keep costs down.  You know, prices are high for the addictive beans.  Also, the staff became not as friendly.  A few would still chat with the customers, but most even stopped smiling.  Then the FINAL STRAW.  Intellegentsia decided to stop selling the large coffee.  In the July 9th edition of the Chicago Tribune, the owner of Intelligentsia said, “Drinking our coffee is not like drinking jug wine,” said Intelligentsia Coffee founder and Chief Executive Doug Zell on Tuesday. “We’re focused on intensity of flavors and providing coffee in the way it tastes best. And it’s not in that size.”  What in the heck is he talking about?  This is the biggest crock of shit I have heard in a long time.  So I started to read some of the comments people put into the Chicago Tribune web site, and you would be amazed what people are saying.  Basically, somehow Intellegentsia’s not wanting to sell a large coffee is about people being too fat.  I quote Sara in Chicago,

I wish ALL companies would do this. A great way to begin tackling the obesity problem is to address how portion sizes have gotten out of control in this country.
Or SMK of Elk Grove Village
Snobby and elitist, folks? I don’t think so. Not every beverage has to be 32 oz, fatties.
My favorite comes from some sprite named Small is Beautiful who says
only in a city ilke chicago would people think intelligentsia is acting “elitist”. go ahead keep on drinking your 20 oz coffee and continue to weigh over 200 llbs
So tell me this folks…..
How does drinking a 20 oz 3 calorie cup of coffee determine if I am fat or not? 
Do only fat people drink large coffees?
 
 
 
 
 
Suffice to say, I will NEVER buy thier coffee again.   I will go back to my  Venti cup of consistency called Starbucks feeling a little sad that I am not supporting a local business (which I do as you can see from previous posts)  while Starbucks laughs their way to the bank. 
 
So if you see me on the street…get out of my way…I will be the fat ass with 20 oz of goodness in a cup and a smile on my face.

Short Fat Girl gets short short hair

I have wanted short hair for a long time now.  Very short hair.  Last week, a girlfriend told me she had seen a woman at the pool with my build (aka fat) and my face (aka round and full moonish) with a short little boy haircut and it looked awesome.  I was so excited to hear this.  You see, I am of the “you can’t have short hair if you are fat” generation.  I don’t know if our mothers told us that, our peers, our hairdressers or who, but I felt inspired.  The next day, I did some research online about fat girls with short haircuts.  I found a few blogs, some web pages for weight loss….interesting how that always seems to pop up when I type fat……and I finally found this entry on the Shapely Prose (lol your fat)blog.  She struggles to find a person who will cut her hair and not give her grief.  Check out her head gals…she rocks.  So, I drum up all of my strength and make an appointment at a local salon.  I am completely prepared to go tete a tete with anyone who might comment on my size vs. the size of my hair.  I mean, how much of my fat does my hair really cover up anyway? 

I go to the salon armed with a printout of the entire blog about her haircut, plus her photo.   Leo washes my hair and asks what I want to do with my hair today.  I tell him I want to cut it all off.  Leo proceeds to tell me how great I am going to look with short hair.  That my hair is going to be like art.  Then, he puts his hands around his head, like they are earmuffs and says….”What do you think this is doing for you anyway?”  He is referring to the curls that bush from my head. 

Since I got the haircut about a million compliments.  Only three “negatives”.  I think people are confused about who I am with this new do!!!  I’ll post a photo tonight. 

Till then.  Call me pixie!!!

This is my short fat haircut

This is my short fat haircut

Lake Michigan is friggin cold

So, fellow triathletes and more specifically, any of you who are larger than a supermodel, or just plain large like myself…..today, in mere hours, I will attempt to (drum-roll) TRY ON A WETSUIT.  Shoot, if you thought fat girls shouldn’t wear pumps, wait till people get a load of this.  

Here is the dilemma.  I am doing a long triathlon this summer.  In the friggin frigid waters of Lake Michigan.  I have avoided and avoided going to any store to shop for a wet suit because….wait, I don’t need to tell YOU why….you already know.  So, I have been on forums, on triathlon web sites, athena/clydesdale websites all looking for a wetsuit.  What I have found is this.  There are some companies out there who make wetsuits for plus size gals.  I am a short 5 ‘ 3″ size  anywhere from 18 – 22.  They make them.  They’ll send you one, have you take some measurements, you send it back, they alter it.  This may be the way I go.  There are, in fact, some on-line merchants that you send your measurements to them and they whip up a wetsuit for you. 

I decided, before I shop online, I need to find out if there is anything here in Chicago.   Here is how my conversation with Mission Bay went:

“Hi, Steve, Um….I’d like to know if you have any plus size wet suits.”

“Um, yes, we do”

“What sizes do those run in?

“Well, I actually need to ask you something that no one feels comfortable asking….how tall are you and what do you weigh”

“5’3″ and 230 POUNDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” (Edvard Munch screamer)

He checked downstairs and in the lockers and tells me….well, we have some men’s suits that might work for you, but really, you are going to need to come into the store to try some on.

So folks, I am on my way there in a few minutes.  I may have to drink heavily afterward, but can you believe it?  I am actually challenging myself to do something that I REALLY DON’T WANT TO DO, but I must.

I figure, even if they don’t have a wetsuit for me, I’ll be able to educate them on the importance of focusing on  the big girls too…….wish me luck…….send me good thoughts……please.