Roller Derby

These boots are made for skating

Let’s get this straight, my neighbor is insane.  I don’t mind saying this cause she won’t ever actually read the blog.  Unlike Steve, who will read this, but I don’t like at all… but that’s neither here or there.  This neighbor comes home from a whirlwind shopping trip with skates and pads with a grin on her face from ear to ear.  Ohhh, did I ever NOT want her to bug me to get out there on my skates, practice, smile and generally foster a positive attitude about life.   Grrr.  But, late in the day she says, let’s go for a spin.  She starts talking about going to a skate park.  SKATE PARK??  Not only that, but she, in her (40 + old body) explains the etiquette and merits of skateboarding culture.  How these are the kids who respect boundaries and respect the board. I am shrinking further into my seat, into my fear zone of …. holy shit, just let me roll unsuccessfully with my husband down the street and make an ass of myself.  We get to the park…with the 5 -m 12 year olds.  Shame, I am telling you, shame.  I can hardly believe it cause I never thought I would ever be at a skate park.  I put on the Tron pads though my husband would hide his face in shme.  Without him, I knew I needed them to avoid a lifelong injury.   I was wobbly….at first.  I did a couple of laps and DID fall.  It didn’t hurt too much and really wasn’t too embarrassing except for grinning neighbor asking if she can help me up.  What the *&%$ is she going to do to help my iceberg ass off the skatepark cement?  My limit was 2 laps at a time.  My whole body would quiver by the time I was done with lap 2 due to muscle unrecognition.  But, I did at least 15 laps.  It was hell, but okay.  Neighbor didn’t want to leave, but it is a good thing myvoice of quitting reason prevailed and we returned home cause it ends up she was tired too (hah).  Now that I know of a new place where the seams in the sidewalk won’t take me out I am more motivated to get skilled in skating.  Thanks to the neighbor, I won’t have to do it alone!!!  Do you think she’ll stop her enthusiastic smile??  I personally doubt it.

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Tron Attacks

I can’t believe how exhausting skating a block can be.  My husband walks down the street holding my hand while I attempt to skate.  I cautiously and very clumsily take tiny itty bitty steps.  Every day I get a little more confident.  I can go a little further, still not up to doing it alone though, thank goodness for  the good hubbie.   

Yesterday I decided that I would put the knee pads on that I bought from Sin City Skates so that I could finally let go of his hand and not worry about getting hurt.  I put them on and was excited to begin when my husband starts laughing.  Really?  Okay, I know I looked a bit like a character from Tron, but seriously, wouldn’t he prefer I actually get out of this unscathed.   I took off the knee pads.  They really cover 1/2 of my leg, so I can sort of see how I might look super silly.  So, I stuck with the elbow and wrist pads plus helmet. I still looked like a goof ball, but at least the hubby could stand me.   Can’t wait to get even better….that will be a while.  I wonder why my shins hurt so much when I do this??

Whip it Good

You are going to be so surprised. I watched Whip It this weekend. You may remember, I had….shall we say… an experience with Roller Derby a few months back. I can still feel the twinge in my hamstring. I think the combination of the movie and the 10 out of 10 weather this weekend got to me. I decided I really do want to learn how to skate. I looked up local roller skate stores in Bloomington, Indiana where we spent Easter weekend and was pleased to find Rolling Thunder Fun Factory on 17th. Veronica was a wealth of information and helped me make the decision to forgo the iphone I have been dying for for a few years and give into the idea of learning how to skate. My daughter also caught the bug and we sprung for some skates for her as well. I bought outdoor wheels so that I can practice in the tennis courts near the house. So, in addition to my attempts to continue “running” I’ll be putting on the skates so that come next winter, I’ll be ready for some derby. I still think it would be a blast. I put the skates in and since I didn’t have any of the pads this weekend, my husband let me lean on him as I tried to skate up and down the driveway a couple of times yesterday. I tried again today. I figure if I can get on the skates a bit at a time, by the end of the summer maybe I’ll be able to go up and down the street without falling!! If you have any tips or learning hints, let me know.

Call me April Fool

Recap of yesterday’s torture.  1 mile warm up.  My favorite part was when the walker passed K and I as we “ran”.  What twisted world is this?  Then “run” as fast as you can for a 1/2 mile.  Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.   Killing me softly and this ain’t no april fools.  I did have an interesting conversation with K though.  Up till now she fully plans to do the Chicago Olympic this summer.  I just don’t feel like I am that interested in working that hard.  Call me lazy if you want, but please, I have a life outside of working out.  So, we may sign up for the sprint distance training instead.  I think we’d have a blast training together.   I wonder if this is going to be another training program that I sign up for the training and don’t actually do the event.  The other fun thing today was that I got a ocmment from a former Windy City Roller on my roller derby write up.  Half makes me consider doing this next winter during the coldest of the cold.  We’ll see.  I still have all those pads.

Roler Derby Days are over…for now

It turns out I really hurt my hamstring.  Not saying I am out of this forever, but for this session, the Derby isn’t for me.  I think the best idea is to actually learn how to skate again.  The idea of falling again and hurting the leg even more really forced me to question my resolve.  I’m out for now.  What next?  Who knows, but I can’t imagine it won’t be exciting.

What the *@ck was I thinking?

Turns out knee pads were the least of my worries.  I have experienced pain and embarrassment in my life.  Ask pretty much anyone who knows me and they have either witnessed it or have heard about it.  Last night, I was more embarrassed than I have been since I learned that I was calling my best Thai friend “vagina” because I was saying her name with the wrong tone.

Here is an excerpt from the Park District bulletin that got me into this situation.  I have underlined the points that pertain to me.

Derby Lite has created a new version of its recreational league that makes it easy for any woman whether an avid skater or not on wheels since middle school, an athlete or a couch potato to get her exercise in for the week and have a great time doing it. No experience required. Ladies build core strength, endurance, balance, cardio, agility, flexibility and upper body strength, while also building confidence, friendships and a sense of community.

Here is my translation:

Derby Lite has created a new torture method that is both recreational and impossible.  If you are an avid skater come on board.  If you haven’t skated since middle school, you don’t stand a frigging chance because we’re going to work your ass off so hard, you won’t be able to sit when you get home.  An athlete may make it.  A couch potato will spend most of her time on the floor trying to balance with her non existent core to get up off of the floor.  You will be flexible.  If not, you will land in such a position that you will finally  be able to do the splits you couldn’t do in elementary school gymnastics.  Confidence?  Every ounce of confidence will fly out the door?

Do you remember when Tom Cruise jumped down the stairs in Risky Business?  You know, that position with one leg straight out, one leg bent with a skate on its foot.  I landed like that on the floor last night.  I actually believe I heard my muscle pop.  I LANDED like this folks.  HARD.

Imagine the guy in the photo as me, only put a skate on his left leg and have him flat on the ground with the other leg just off to the side. Got it?

This was the hardest workout I have had in years.  I have no core strength, that is something I am going to start to work on again tomorrow!  I leave you with the quote of the day.  A young whipper snapper in class came up to me and said “Ma’am?  I think you are very brave to be doing this.”  Brave?  No.  Brain damaged?  Perhaps.  I can imagine a day when it will be fun.  Till then it was fun in a root canal sort of way.  I will be back though.   Next time I’ll be stronger and I’ll keep track of how many times I fall.  Till then!

Roller Derby….lite???

I haven’t been on skates since college.  One afternoon during finals week, some girlfriends and I were stressed.  I called around to some local skate rinks only to find that they were all closed.  I finally called over to a rink in Henderson, KY just across the state line and lo and behold, the good people at Skateway USA let the 5 of us skate for free that afternoon.  So yesterday, to carry on the tradition of skating that was started 2 decades ago, I decided to sign up for roller derby lite.  I have no idea what I am getting myself into.  I bought gear from Sin City Skates online yesterday.  Paid the gazillion dollars to register and am anticipating the first class on the 11th.  What the heck am I thinking?  I don’t even know the rules.

Here is Skateway USA: