En route to the lake for a morning swim today, my girls commented about how they couldn’t believe I put on my wetsuit in the port-o- potty. I apologize for not being clearer. In no way did I change in the poop chamber. I stood on a grassy knoll in front of thousands of people and wiggled and stretched my way into the wetsuit I lovingly call Michelin.
p.s. we found no parking at the lake so in dedicated athlete fashion, we went to breakfast instead.
So, did I tell you that Accenture was this weekend? Yeah, big race, the golden one for many a triathlete. For me this was supposed to be the year for the Olympic distance, or the “Oly” as some would call it. I, on the other hand, just couldn’t muster the strength, dedication, interest or stamina to really drive it all home. So, I decided to go ahead and do the sprint instead. I can’t tell you how liberating this was. Perhaps a little too liberating, because my fitness level the day of the event left a tad to be desired. However, I was determined to have a great time.
Woke up at the same before the crack of the crack of the butt of dawn and loaded up the ford blue van with 3 of my closest friends. We convoyed downtown to meet the packs and droves of insane people on bikes carrying large backpacks and wearing alien helmets. Transition was fun. I was next to this lady named Sandy who I swear, had more makeup on than I have seen on most models. I even mentioned I trained in less time than it took her to apply her mascara. Regardless, friends were made, laughs had. I had dilemma though. My start time was about 7:15 a.m. and I had to put on the wetsuit. See my previous explanations and adventures of trying on the wetsuit to understand why I may not want to do this in public let alone in a port-o-potty. At around 6:30 though, I had no choice. I put it on and immediately began to dehydrate because of the vast pools of sweat dripping from my face.
Swim start….I am chatting away to anyone who will listen so that I am taken aback when the actual horn goes off. I had no idea it would be that fast. I begin to try to develop some sort of rhythm to no avail because I am being kicked, pulled, yanked and otherwise beaten in the water. I also believe I ran over someone doing backstroke (sorry). Finally though, I am out of the water which is great for me. I search for my shoes which are under the crunch sign and see my girlfriend Kitty who I begin to have a conversation with…right there. We chat for a couple of minutes before I remember that this is a RACE. I proceed to hobble to the bike transition.
No amount of strength or flexibility will get me out of the wetsuit. I am like a turtle on my back, feet raised trying to get the sucker off of my ankles. Finally people stop to ask if I need help. I must have looked like I needed some medical attention. But, I prevail and walk (can I say that again WALK to the bike exit) I take my time getting on the bike and take off. The bike itself was uneventful. I couldn’t really get any speed worth mentioning, but there were some nice looking bikes along the way. Once off the bike I walk….yes, walk to the rack and change shoes, take off helmet, put on hat, do my hair (wait, I have none) Finally, I am off again. I get out on the run course and realize I still have my bike gloves on. Silly me, so I have to carry them with me.
I hated the run, every bit of it. I walked a lot of it and just smiled when I remembered I wasn’t doing the “Oly”!! Toward the end of the race I see a woman in front of me, she is struggling to get through this, but is giving it her all. I follow her for quite some time until we are within a 1/4 mile of the finish line. At that point I see her start to walk. I shout “Don’t you dare start walking now woman…I have followed you this far, you had better pick it up!!” So she starts running again. We sort of laugh together, the crowd starts to cheer us on because I am cheering her on Man oh Man what a RUSH!! We cross the finish line arm in arm in the actual victory pose. Hip Hip Hooray!!!!! All of the sudden a voice comes over the loudspeaker “Ladies, you have not crossed the finish line yet!!!!” We burst out laughing finish the race with a hop and smile.
She told me I made her race, that she wouldn’t have been able to do it without me. Now, I know that isn’t true, but it really was a nice thing to hear.
I had my slowest times ever in this race. I am not going to deny that in the negative area of my brain, that horrible place, I can feel bad about it. But mostly, I had a great time. I laughed and cried when two of my closest friends crossed the “Oly” finish line. I am so proud of them.
And you know what, even if I was the slowest of the slow….I am proud of me too!!
Great Job Terry from Naperville….whoever you are.
p.s. If you’d like to see a 30 second video of this finish….let me know….it is priceless.
UPDATE TO ORIGINAL POST
En route to the lake for a morning swim today, my girls commented about how they couldn’t believe I put on my wetsuit in the port-o- potty. I apologize for not being clearer. In no way did I change in the poop chamber. I stood on a grassy knoll in front of thousands of people and wiggled and stretched my way into the wetsuit I lovingly call Michelin.
p.s. we found no parking at the lake so in dedicated athlete fashion, we went to breakfast instead.
Many of you have asked what has transpired since the post related to the fat doctor. I thought I would flush this out today as it has really weighted on my brain lately. A couple of weeks ago, I actually followed up on my personal promise to myself to get into the doctor’s office. I SO didn’t want to go that morning. I just felt like it was going to be a difficult situation and I wasn’t entirely sure how to deal with it. But, I did go.
I waited in the reception room like normal when finally a nurse calls me to the back. She immediately walks me over to the scale. I politely tell her that “I am not weighing today.” She doesn’t miss a beat or even blink, but walks me into the doctor’s office. She takes by BP, which is still higher than normal, tells me to get undressed and has me wait for the doctor. I wait and she starts tearing through the paperwork. Finally though, she looks baffled and says, why don’t we have your weight in here. I tell her, “Dr. ______ we talked about this in an e-mail. I prefer not to be weighted unless you find is medically necessary or life threatening.” Oh yeah, she says and we continue on through the exam.
The only issues that come out of the visit are the following:
My blood pressure is really high enough that I should go on medication. We are going to wait a month, just in case something changes, but given that I work out like I do AND I am not going to “diet” any longer, the alternative is medication. It does bum me out, I don’t want to be on drugs for the rest of my life, but there really isn’t another solution for me.
My cholesterol blood test results came in worse than last year. My HDL was a little low and my LDL was a little high. She wants to test me on that again in September. This one for me is more tricky than the blood pressure issue. To me, this seems like a direct result of my diet, it isn’t because I am too fat, it isn’t because I don’t work out enough. It is because of what I eat. Which leads me to the question and concern of diet. What if bacon and eggs really do need to be off the list of eaten foods. A year ago my cholesterol levels were within normal range, now they aren’t.
Can I still be healthy in the the Health at Every Size, no diet movement?
I love coffee. I love good coffee. I spend a fair amount of money each morning on coffee. It is something that has become a part of my routine that I love. I work downtown Chicago and for years I would go to Starbucks for the morning cup-o-joe. One day, a new coffee shop opened up and opened my eyes to a different variety of coffee. They had great staff, they were friendly and they even offered inexpensive refills throughout the day. They also had a buy 10 get one free card. What a joyous moment it was when I found them. Then, things began to change. They stopped the discounted refills entirely. The nearly sent me over the edge, but I figured, they needed to keep costs down. You know, prices are high for the addictive beans. Also, the staff became not as friendly. A few would still chat with the customers, but most even stopped smiling. Then the FINAL STRAW. Intellegentsia decided to stop selling the large coffee. In the July 9th edition of the Chicago Tribune, the owner of Intelligentsia said, “Drinking our coffee is not like drinking jug wine,” said Intelligentsia Coffee founder and Chief Executive Doug Zell on Tuesday. “We’re focused on intensity of flavors and providing coffee in the way it tastes best. And it’s not in that size.” What in the heck is he talking about? This is the biggest crock of shit I have heard in a long time. So I started to read some of the comments people put into the Chicago Tribune web site, and you would be amazed what people are saying. Basically, somehow Intellegentsia’s not wanting to sell a large coffee is about people being too fat. I quote Sara in Chicago,
I wish ALL companies would do this. A great way to begin tackling the obesity problem is to address how portion sizes have gotten out of control in this country.
Snobby and elitist, folks? I don’t think so. Not every beverage has to be 32 oz, fatties.
only in a city ilke chicago would people think intelligentsia is acting “elitist”. go ahead keep on drinking your 20 oz coffee and continue to weigh over 200 llbs
health at my size (or any size for that matter) 