After a couple of years of posting to the blog and changes in my life, this is where I am. This blog is evolving. Initally I created this to write about my struggles with self loathing and size acceptance. I viewed myself as an activist for fat people of the word. While I still struggle to be better (than what?) I have begun to reverse my own ideas of dieting culture. I am less caught up when people comment on thier own weight, how much they eat and how many pants sizes they drop or gain. As I have changed, so must the blog. Evolve with me. Welcome 2010 with my big happy body. This is my new Mantra….
I am not what I eat…I’m what I do and what I say.
I am not how much I weigh or how much I’ve gained or how much I’ve lost, and I’m going to try damn hard not to be embarrassed if the direction doesn’t make me smaller.
Changing my shape and size isn’t going to make me happy, however, may make me poor, as I will have to go shopping.
Having happy thoughts about me, you and the world will make me a better person.
I respectfully decline to discuss your size, my size, her size or his size in any way…unless it makes you or me laugh and isn’t hurtful to anyone.
I will eat what I want, and move on—slowly or quickly depending on what I ate.
Being healthy doesn’t mean being thin. Being fat doesn’t mean unhealthy.
The other night I was drawn to thoughts of the blog I created and haven’t kept up. Sorry this has been the case. I feel a little guilty writing about this topic since my mantra and much of the content has shifted in the past few months. My attempts at remaining active and healthy have become lame excuses for not working out and eating. The year hasn’t been a complete loss though. I have learned some lessons, made some new friends and gained some things (pounds, years and pant sizes) It’s been a plus one year all around. Here are a few things I learned this year.
- Somtimes, people throw rocks at you.
- Biking to work is one of the funnest, best ways to excercise. (Now STOP SNOWING!!)
- You can get bigger than your biggest fat pants.
- I still get surprised when people call me names, to be specific, ass and bitch.
- Reconnecting with old friends isn’t always a good thing. Most time you realize you didn’t have anything in common in the first place.
- The Wii Fit is completely ineffective if you never use it.
- Sometimes mantras have to be rewritten because I can’t get my ass off the couch.
- I can’t keep my knees together.
- Midway and O’hare both have Delta…but they fly different places.
- If I don’t drive them all crazy first, friends and family are the best things I’ve got going for me.
I’ll be ringing in the new year with a bottle of bubbly and some great apps. Thinking of ways to move it next year. Till then….Happy New Year to all of you.