I reached out to the mother of that kid, you know, the one from last week. It was the best thing I did last week. I am torn between having my middle school boy figure things out on his own and helping him. How do I decide if I am being too much of a mother hen? I was lucky to have a friend prod me along.
This other mother was amazing. We shared our experiences. Talked about the struggles we are having raising strong, dependent, sensitive, kind men. She told me how her kid had been bullied last year and how hard that was for him.We shared our stories and I felt connected to another parent for the first time in a long time. I can’t make your child like mine. I realize that. But if you and I connect, we can guide our kids through the difficult decisions.
I am disconnected with the community of parents that I had in elementary school and I feel alone.Because of that disconnection, it is hard to be vulnerable with all of you and explain to you that my child is hurting. He is having a hard time navigating the world of middle school. The tiers of friends, the groups, the gangs, and the mentality. I worry for him every day. There are scary stats out there about what our kids do when they feel helpless, hopeless and alone.
I am not going to deny that there is definite chance, okay a CERTAINTY that mine has been a fucker. I’m not talking about him though, cause here is the deal. I DEAL with him all of the time. When he treats other kids like crap, he is compelled to tell me the truth about it. (he tells me the truth to a fault) When he’s mean to someone, we have brutal discussions about how he made the other kid feel. I then proceed to shame him into submission. (good parent) There are a couple of parents out there who have received apology phone calls and surprise front door apologies for his behavior.
I remember how this all feels. I also know I can’t control other people. I know I can’t control other middle schooler kids for sure. But what do I do? How do I deal with the assholes at school taunting him, teasing him, making him challenge his worth. He is vulnerable, sad, and very low. I know, I know, we all got through it. But, I don’t remember how I did it. Even when I give him advice I sound like Andy Griffith without the eloquence or accent.
Pretty sure you are in the same boat. I just wanted to be honest here. Cause truthfully, I am just so very sad that there are bullies, fuck faces that hurt my child. Can’t wait for the girl to start middle school next year.