Author: healthatmysize

Everything I needed to know I learned playing Qbert

Okay, that isn’t entirely true.  My sister was the Qbert expert.   I was more the pitfall girl.  But, I will say that everything I needed to know I learned playing Atari.

my sister's first love. Qbert.

This morning on the way to school I asked my son what he wanted for Christmas.  He quickly told me he wants the Xbox 360, a request shared by my husband.    I firmly replied that under no circumstances would there be another gaming system in our house until he can learn how to take care of the games he has for his PS2, Nintendo DS and Wii.

I can sympathize with his desire to get a new gaming system.  I played Atari games to the point that my dad had to replace the joysticks on a monthly basis.  The red button on the joystick would stick sometimes and the controller itself would stop going right, left, up or down.  My sister and I spent many a Friday or Saturday night with the Kochert boys eating chips, popcorn and Pepsi and playing the heck out of Atari till the wee hours in the morning.

The gaming system of my dreams.

My sister and I have carried the love of gaming into adulthood from computer games (Diablo, Lord of the Rings) to Playstation (Champions: Return to Arms).

My father recently comment that he has missed watching us play these games!  Hours strategizing about how to get to the next plane, kill the biggest demon, jump over the largest pit, find the hidden key to open the hidden door , run backward while shooting arrows has kept me sane (okay, questionable) and in love with technology.  It has in part, driven my love of computers, posting blogs, reading “likes”, getting  the smartest phone and in the past even had me taking vacation days.

All-so-sophisticated Haunted House Game

I don’t mind that he plays, in fact, he’s really good.  I have hopes he’ll be able to develop this skill into some sort of career.

That said, he absolutely shouldn’t expect the Xbox under the tree—at least not this year.

I totally have the fattest shortest haircuts

I have mentioned before that the search terms that consistently bring in the highest traffic on the blog have to do with the short fat haircut.  I have tinkered with the idea of finding other fatties with short hair to promote.  Some people probably wouldn’t appreciate it if I approached them by saying, “hey, I have a blog and like to feature fat women with short hair, can I take your photo??”  So I thought I’d whip out the google and give it a test drive.  I typed in “fat, short, haircut” in the search bar and clicked on images to get the results.  I am BLOWN away with my own fame.  All I have to say is,  I have the fattest ass and shortest hair around!!!!

A’s Big Secret

This morning as I brushed her hair, my daughter whispered that her friend Olivia had told her a big secret this weekend and that no matter how much she wanted to, she couldn’t tell me what it was.  I sort of freaked out a bit here.  You can imagine the things that were going through my mind that Olivia had shared with her in secret.  I continued to brush her tangles and carefully chose my next words.

“Honey, you can’t have secrets from Mommy and Daddy.  I know sometimes it is hard to tell us everything, but if Olivia told you something and didn’t want you to tell us, it really is best if we know.”

“I am so worried that she’ll be disappointed in me.  Promise you won’t tell her I told you.”

“I can’t promise I won’t tell her, but I can promise that telling me won’t hurt anyone.”

“Okay Mommy…..Olivia is a vampire, a real one.”  she told me with sincerity.  I thought about laughing, but her serious tone told me this just wasn’t the time to laugh.

“Honey?  How does Olivia eat, does she drink people’s blood?”

” No Mommy, she drinks her own blood.  Like this.” A put her wrist to her mouth and pretended to bite herself.

“I know she convinced you she is, but I honestly don’t believe Olivia is a vampire.”

“That makes me so happy Mommy, because vampires scare me.”

“They scare me too.”cartoon vampire girl image

I love chocolate cake — Especially baking it.

Oh folks, it is that time of the year again.  The time when the cake pans and fondant come out in full force.  It seemed like such a cute thing to do the first year with the train cake.  Simple icing and some ingredients from the store.  It has morphed into a huge ordeal.  The neighbors came over to assist with sonic the hedgehog.  I enjoy it though.  I really do.  This year weekend I’ll be mixing up and decorating a “hello kitty” masterpiece.  If you see my daughter though, please don’t let her know.  I sifted through the computer drives and was able to locate photos of many of the cakes.  I am missing one cake. The ladybug cake of A’s second year. Ahhhh. The memories.

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  By the way, cakes are at least baked!!!

Halloween Blues

sad pumkinAll in all it was a great weekend.  But, like every “holiday” weekend, there is a melacholy at the end of it all.  Inevitably, along the way, a child’s expectations weren’t exactly met.  The boy who dresses as Link from Zelda who was initally so excited by his costume with the sword and shield from a castle in France couldn’t find the sword the day of the party.  The Cinderalla girl who only wants to be a princess, noticed the cheap store-bought costume splitting at the seams, and the husband who completely forgot about the party left his blue Dexter gloves on the countertop.  I was thrilled with my costume that was suggested to me by a blog reader….a box of Franzia–was awesome and dispensed cheap wine.  The boy was sick on Halloween day so missed the soccer playoffs.  By later in the afternoon he was up for trick or treating (surprised??) but couldn’t find his dearest friend.  He eventually did, which made things a LOT better. 

The big disappointment of the day was the pamphlet that we got from a local home that talked about how bad Islam is.  I thought of linking to the pamphlet here, so that people could see how this racist and heinous group represented Islam, but I am sure they track their web site visits and relish in the post halloween rise in Web traffic.  I was sad and ashamed that this morning my husband found this booklet in the trick or treat bag, and so happy that my son doesn’t have enough interest in reading to have glanced at the pamphlet.  I was also happy that our friends and neighbors tried to warn us about the pamphlet…my husband simply forgot.  This family should be ashamed, Proselytizing to children?????   Next year we will remember to stay away from the home that believes my family are a bunch of terrorists.  Or, we could be incredibly bold and dress like what they think we are.  “TRICK OR TREAT!!!”

Monty goes to Jail

So this new dog we got is cute as can be, clever and sweet.  We let him hang out in the backyard tied up so he can’t get loose.  He LOVEs it.  Well, apparently something got his attention and he got loose.  My husband runs upstairs to tell me he can’t find the dog.  I am like…What???  How in the hell do you lose a dog.  So, I dressed and started the venture around the neighborhood looking for this frigging dog wondering how I am going to explain to the kids that our new family member is GONE!!  When I get back home, my husband is on the phone.  He has decided to call 911!!  WTF?  I really thought he was insane.  Here is the kicker.  I actually drove to the police station because animal control reportedly picked up a black medium sized dog.  Animal control specialist Jason had my Monty in his van…..or should I say…..prison.  When he opened the van doors, Monty wouldn’t even look at me.  He KNEW he was in trouble.  So, thanks to the many neighbors who called the police and the man down the street who kept him in the backyard for a bit….we are very very very lucky to still have Monty.  BAD DOG MONTY!!!