health at every size

Man oh man can I relate to that

I’m embarrassed that I didn’t say more than before.  Mara D brought up so many good points and questions that really ping my heart.  I am humbled.  I do know the drills you refer to, I remember being “grounded” as a child if I didn’t lose enough weight by the end of the week.  It is a brutal brutal world that complicates clouds.

I am new to HAES, perhaps still in the honeymoon phase, but I am LOVING it.  The day I was told I could stop counting calories, getting on the scale and limiting what I was eating has been HUGELY liberating.  I struggle with the self acceptance piece, which is the cornerstone of the whole process.  Not even sure though, if one can actually feel that way all of the time (perhaps another discussion at another time.)  I am a part time resident of the negative spiral.

I have also used the opportunity to respond to comments by saying “I am focusing on getting my health back in order at the moment. I’d prefer not to discuss dieting/weight loss, please.” I find it shocks people a little and they tend to get defensive.  The challenge is to get to a place where I can tailor my message enough to not offend them while telling to step the heck off the bus.  It isn’t their business what i am doing to my body.  This is my body, my life and while I hope to treat it well, it is not their business.  It think the place that re-frames the vision of beauty, health and a joyful life sounds wonderful. 

In terms of the eating choices, piece, I am not there yet, I am eating what I want and loving it.  I do work out nearly every day.  I do this simply out of pleasure, but what got me here is a journey outside of HAES.  I had to find a passion in sport.  Something I really enjoyed….and a group of women I love to do it with.  More to come.  I love this dialogue.

Virgin Comments

I am new to blogging.  I feel compelled to share these feelings and thoughts.  I didn’t know if anyone would actually read what I am writing.  I am completely pleased to see that there are actually people who read what I wrote.  Thank you thank you.  Not only that, but posed some really interesting questions…some that I am dealing with at different times as well. 

Is this movement a “thinly veiled diet”?   I hope not, but will enjoy the thinking this comment inspires.

 I want to be happy with my body/myself as I am right now.  What I am in the future, is irrelevant.  Therefore weight loss…or god forbid weight gain is a non issue.

My Health Mantra

This is about me (and maybe you?) 

It is about my struggles with self loathing.  It is about the struggle to be better, but never defining better so consistently “failing”.  

It is about the revolution of not doubting my own worth based on how much weight I lose. 

I started to struggle to come up with phrases that would help me when challenged about my reversal of dieting culture.  I often came up speechless when someone would comment on another person’s weight, what they ate and how much of it in a day, how many pants sizes they had dropped.  I had to come up with some one liners to lead me through the responses.  This became my mantra.

  • I am not how much I weigh or how much I’ve gained or how much I’ve lost.
  • I am not what I eat…I’m what I do and what I say.
  • Changing my shape and size isn’t going to make me happy
  • Changing the way I feel about my body/myself will.
  • I respectfully decline to discuss your size, my size, her size or his size in any way.
  • I will eat what I want, and move on.
  • I swim, bike, or run every day…being healthy doesn’t mean being thin.
  • I embrace my body as a part of me.

How do you respond comments about your weight or other’s weight?  Why do people think it is acceptable?