In preparation for the lake swim this week, I had to try on the wetsuit I bought a couple of years ago for the Chicago Triathlon. Some of you may remember that the original purchase of the wetsuit I fondly call Michelin was one the most horrible shopping experiences of my life. That was in preparation for Accenture. Today, I am heavier and rounder than I was a couple of years ago, but I spent $200 on the thing and need to use it for this program. The lake is 67 degrees and Thursday evening we are doing our first lake swim. I need to try it on. So, I went upstairs to my non air-conditioned room on the most humid night in recent history with the worst sunburn I have had since 6th grade, sprayed some goo on my ankles feet and legs and began the process of pulling the wetsuit on. Inch by inch I progressed, I was nearly out of energy, sweat was rolling into my eyes, and I had only reached just past my knees. This was going to be a long haul. Pulling pushing putting twisting aching and rolling on the floor and finally, the thing was on past my ass. With a twist and pull of the arms, over my shoulders (added tire marks to the sunburn) – but it was on. I couldn’t get it zipped, so I went downstairs to have husband zip Michy. It took a few minutes and some construction equipment, but finally, it was ON. Wet sweat hair plastered on my head, I looked at my husband who asked “Is it too big?” I nearly killed him. The scary part is that the whole process took over 30 minutes. I am supposed to swim at the lake with a group of people after work. I am NOT going to go through that workout in front of humans. My strategy is this: Dress in the gym at work, but only wear the suit to my waist. Have K pick me up in front of my building. At the beach, finish dressing and have K zip me up. I hope it all works out and that I don’t spontaneously combust in the car or while we are waiting to start swimming. I really question why I joined this program.
Oh, Jenn! I hate to tell you that I snorked some of my morning coffee through my nose and over my keyboard as I read this, but christ, can you ever write, girl! 🙂
I do NOT know how you got that wetsuit on in such humidity; I can’t even get pantyhose on when it’s humid. You and K are in my thoughts tonight! Stay safe — and I hope it turns out to be more fun than you anticipate!