Success vs. Good Enough….can they be the same?


I was out for coffee a few days back when I overheard a friend of mine taking about how she doesn’t feel good about herself.  I was astounded.  I mean, this chick has it all, a great home, a great job, a great life partner, a great sense of humor, a great family, she is fit and fabulous and here she is, in the flesh talking to ME (the president of Not Good Enough Land) about her own self image.  This is universal isn’t it?  It isn’t just me, it isn’t just you, it’s a lot of women and men out there filled with self doubt.  My issues go like this…..   

I am not a good enough mother, wife, swimmer, runner, biker or friend.  My body is not good enough. 

When I read the list of these things, pretty much every in every aspect of my life I don’t feel good enough at and that scares the shit out of me.  Do I seriously need to improve upon every single aspect of my being or am I so used to saying it, it has become an automatic way to think about myself?  For example, I put in the list I am not a good enough friend.  Okay, so what does that mean, did some girlfriend tell me that?  No!!!  What is a good enough friend?  Who holds the yardstick on that one?    What is a good size?  I arbitrarily tell myself that the magic number is size 16.  Well, wake up and smell the poop, I used to be a size 16 and I STILL didn’t think I was good enough.  I STILL needed to be smaller…not good enough.

I was given the yard stick of good enough but the words “good enough” were never actually written on the wood.  When I ask the question of myself, what does a good enough mother look like, I can’t wrap my arms around what that is…I just feel that I am not good enough.  I don’t know if defining good enough is something that we are supposed to stumble upon through life, or if it is something shown to us by our parents.  Either way, no one has ever said to me…”now that, that thing over there, is success.” 

So, this is my personal question to you.  Are you good enough?  Are there aspects of your life that you feel like you are successful in, are there areas that you too are challenged thinking you aren’t good enough. 

Tell me about you, I am dying to know.

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4 comments

  1. oops….
    Who are you? Your words are mine….
    I am sitting here procrastinating. I am procrastinating as ONLY a person with body issues could. Anyone else would be gleeful at this moment, waiting anxiously for 3:30 to roll around.
    My procrastination? My new bicycle: a beautiful Cervelo P2C fit perfectly by an adept fitter and ….simply beautiful.
    Alas, all I can think about is how fat I am and that anyone who sees me on this bike is going to laugh and think, “What is SHE doing on that thing?”. Tears come to my eyes when I think how sad it is that the pleasure that COULD be mine is tainted by the mantra drummed into my brain daily- the one that says ,” I am fat and, therefore, I am not worthy or good enough for…..you name it.”
    How very sad….And I still don’t know if I’ll ride my old bike or have the fortitude to embrace the new one…

  2. Please ride the bike. You need to realize that no one that is important to you or your life is going to remark about you!! Take control. Say NO WAY to anyone making you feel bad…..

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