Last night as I was waiting for the fierce blizzard that never came but kept me up all night, I was thinking about appropriate, fashionable items for someone my size to wear during the winter. There was a time when I didn’t think of these things at all, but alas one day on the way to work I looked at myself in a glass storefront window and the bottom back of my skirt was safely tucked into the waist of my long underwear. Yes, my ass was hanging out for not just a walk to work from the el, but the walk from home to the el and an entire train ride. How did I not notice, you may ask? Layering my friends, much layering. By the way, thanks to those of you who saw me and said nothing. Anyway, as I think about that faux pas, I start to go through winter wardrobe do’s and don’ts for us big chicks.
Coat? Yes, that is acceptable clothing. And I say for Chicago winters, any shape size is a go. Stadium, puffy, short, ski, go for it.
Sweater? Yep, that is too, acceptable.
Gloves? OOOHHH getting getting risque, maybe mittens.
Legwarmers? Ye….yes, I said legwarmers. So here is the nitty gritty truth of the matter. I LOVE legwarmers, especially the styles (are they really?) of legwarmers I see the 20 somethings out there wearing on my way to the train. How convenient as well, I bet they really keep those calves warm…oohh I am jealous. But here is my question. I am 5 ‘ 3″ tall. You figure a pair of legwarmers are at least a foot high. On me that comes to my knees. Combine that with a sweater on top and jeans on the bottom and I am essentially bulging thigh girl in leg warmers. Mind you, I have tried none of this out. I am simply trying to sort through appropriate cold weather gear waiting for the blizzard. Here is my decision.
On some days, what you wear and how you look never matter, at least to the people that I know and even to the citizens of Chicago who watched me prance around with my ass hanging out in the long underwear. Those days, I may be able to get away with legwarmers. Most days though, I think I would just look like BULGING THIGH GIRL THE SUPERHERO!!!. But you know what, even if I did, at least I’d be warm. I also bet someone out there would be checking out my legwarmers thinking….”legwarmers? I just love legwarmers.”